Jesus loves statistics! And America!!

Remember the 1938 Orson Welles-directed radio show based on the novel War of the Worlds? I assume most have heard about the show. It was presented in the form of actual news bulletins about an alien invasion. There are rumors that panicky Americans rushed from their homes and looked to the skies for signs that the end was nigh. These are just rumors, of course, but I suspect a few people listening at the time wet themselves if only a little.

Americans today are smarter and more jaded than they were then, right? Why is it, then, that I daily receive consipiracy e-mails from functional, non-mentally disabled adults? I would like to study the brain--a term I use quite literally to imply that lump of tissue between one's ears and not a general measure of intelligence--of a person who reads an e-mail that begins: "If you are an American, you will be outraged that lesbian bikers are burning baby Jesus statues and watching pornography! Pass it on!!" and feels an overwhelming urge to pass the e-mail along to everyone in their address book.

What stuns me is that we live in an age where we can have anything on earth delivered to our homes with no more than a few clicks of a mighty mouse, yet we are unable to step back from an e-mail like that and say, "Hmmm. I wonder if that's true." Is it a product of a failed education system or are there socio-economic, religious, population or other factors causing this phenomenon? I'm not a scientist, a psychologist, or a philosopher. I'm just here for the rantin' (and the free food.)

I recently received an e-mail which contained the subject line "Just as it says!" (Why do radical individuals feel the need to overuse exclamation points? I believe the real way to create change is through less flashy and aggressive punctuation.) The e-mail goes on to inform the reader that this is "not sent for discussion" and that if I agree, I am to forward it along to everyone I know and if not, I am to delete it. Either way, I am told in an assault of bold letters and unnecessary commas, the sender doesn't want to know how I feel. (And yet I have to be painfully informed of how they felt.) The letter then talks of an NBC poll in which it was discovered that 86% of Americans believe in God. They state (complete with the misuse of quotes that I've corrected here), "That is a pretty commanding public response!" The e-mail then states that this poll is all the proof Americans need that "In God We Trust" should remain on our money while "One Nation Under God" should remain in the Pledge of Allegiance. Finally, the article asks the profound question: "Why is the world catering to this 14%?" (And then it ends with the obligatory "Amen!" complete with that aggressive exclamation point.) Oh, and there is also a picture of what many Americans apparently believe to be the face of Jesus Christ.

And an American flag.

The logic, research, and, frankly, sweat, that went into this e-mail are staggering. Is this a real poll? Are these statistics accurate? What sample of the population was used? How was "God" defined? Is it the Christian idea of God? If someone polled me, would I say I didn't believe in God? What does "the world" have to do with "catering" to the "14%" who don't believe in God? Were any of the people in the poll asked about their opinions on keeping God on money or in the Pledge? I stop to consider the person who started the e-mail, those who've since forwarded the e-mail and the person I receieved it from. It makes me dizzy to imagine this much stupid in any one head.

I'll leave it to you, kind reader, to decide for yourself; however, before you go out telling everybody about this stunning blog you've just read and spouting little nuggets of "fact," please, take a minute to do the research. I'd hate for you to be the subject of the next blog.